Another month draws to a close. Full of excitement, inspiration, new memories and challenges. A month of new practices(blogging daily). A new source of inspiration. Taking more chances means living with fewer regrets means more joy. It has been a good month but hopefully the best is yet to come.

To be sculpted and molded by chisel or hand

Counting the years with piles of sand

cut and carried by wind and by stream

the creator working his glorious scheme

Some changes quick and some changes slow

Some change is painful and some helps you grow

Constantly changing, part old and part new

It takes work to become authentically you

Don't be like mike. Be you.

Micheal Jordan Temalı ESPN Reklamı from woniac on Vimeo.

Just being who you are can be disappointing to some people. They expect more from you. Expect you to be someone else. Unreal expectations that can cause problems in your relationships.
Then there are people who recognize who you are and not only accept it but celebrate it. Those are the people who are the most enjoyable to be around. The people who help you be more you. Find those people and treat them right because they are special.

today I traded a half a tank of gas
to stand in a new place and new light
to see more clearly just by turning the knob
the choreographed flight of birds
dancing to the declarations of the elk
while hearts and dragons flutter
to over rehearsed words
left unspoken
while unspoken words
fill the silence
the sun drifts into the hills
on a warm and chili night
as a heart filled with joy

Even with the price of gas these days
it was worth it.

Looking back at missed opportunities can cause one to wonder about what could have been. What if I had made better/different decisions? What would life be like now? Sometimes this can be a troubling venture. But it can also be a motivation going forward. As the years grow so does wisdom(hopefully). I would like to believe I would have made better choices if I had the wisdom that I do now. Statements like this make me sound old. When I was your age...
On the other hand there are many things that I am glad for in my life. Without those "poor" decisions in my life present circumstances would not be what they are.
So I find myself thankful for where I am and celebrate what God has done in my life and look forward to what He is doing through me. I am excited to see where things will go and what will happen next. What wisdom has given me is the drive that I need to make things happen, not wait for life to happen to me. Take some chances. Become who I am. To be more me and who God has created me to be. Fight against regret and go from here.

Inspiration. Design.
One of my avenues for creative inspiration comes from viewing the work of other creatives. Here are some of the sites that I frequent in search of creative feasts:

Graphic Exchange The work and graphic designer Fabien Barrel as a curation of his favorite work by other creatives.

From Up North A design blog and curation of creative work.

Lovely Package I have not done a lot of package design but I find inspiration here. Perhaps is the thought of thinking three dimensionally that intrigues me.

99u Behance's educational arm offering articles and videos on the creative process

Design Work Life catalog of design-centric inspiration

Design Seeds A resource for creating color palettes.

The Unseen Sea from Simon Christen on Vimeo.

I love the distortion of time in films. I love the combination of slow motion and timelapse. These qualities give the characteristic of being outside of time and seeing the world in a different way. That new perception of time reveals things about the world around that are missed in typical pace of life. In this video I enjoy how the fog rolling in becomes like waves crashing up against the hills. In an almost fairytale sense, a city in the sky surrounded by billowing waves.

Seconds Of Beauty - 1st round compilation from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

I love this series of short films where they take submissions of one second clips from people all over the world and put them together into one film. It is amazing to me to see all of these seemingly unrelated clips come together to form a glimpse into the human experience. It is remarkable to be reminded that we are more alike than we are different. There is so much going on that I think sometimes we lose this fact. We all share commonalities but it is our uniqueness that makes things interesting as well. Some see differences as obstacles I see them as opportunities to see the world in a new way.

face of uncertainty

Sunset Tree 2008-2012

 

"Keeping your mind open in the face of uncertainty is the single most powerful secret of unleashing your creative potential."
Michael J. Gelb

When working on a project there are many points of uncertainty that I face. The first obvious one is the blank canvas. The blinking cursor. So much potential and so many questions still to be answered. And asked and to and fro. Sometimes the challenge can arise midstream. That point of questioning whether or not a piece is completed or if more work needs to be done. I have had pieces where this question loomed for years. Hitting me in the face every time I walked into a room. Knowing that the "discussion" was not over but had reach some type of stall. A point of deceptive completion where I try to convince myself that it is finished. Not necessarily because it was indeed finished but rather I did not know what to do next. Or even worse, I had a sense of what needed to be done but feared that experimentation might destroy all of the things that I already liked about the piece.
My painting instructor in college once said that sometimes you have to destroy your favorite part of a painting in order to save the entire work. There may be some brilliant brush stroke or blending of color, that on its own is beautiful, that I feel a need to save like a beautiful baby bird fallen from it's nest into a world of chaos. But it is getting in the way of the artwork coming to a resolution. This was a tough idea to grasp and to overcome, and I have faced it many times. Trying to work around a moment in a painting, a phrase in writing, reworking everything else to try and make it fit.
I have learned that sacrifice is an important element in the creative process. It not only important it is often necessary in order to reach completion. Of course, failure is often a direct result of this process. Though it may be better to say that failure is not a result but a step in this process. I find some of my favorite pieces are the ones I have wrestled with the most. I have invested the proverbial blood, sweat and tears into a painting and as a result there is often more of me entwined in the finished piece.
When it comes down to it the uncertainty is the exciting part for me. I relish that point because it is at the point of struggle that the magic begins to happen. I have completed thousands of pieces in my head. They are perfect and they are unearned. It is through the struggle of creativity that they become alive and gain their meaning.

 

 

Life on the edge.

Seeking to go a little bit farther than that which was safe.
Realizing the real danger was in staying the same.

Lightly traveled paths. Is this a path?
How did I get here? How do I get back?
Do I go back? Moving forward.

New perspectives. New possibilites. New poison oak.
The risk and reward of wandering. exploring. discovering.
Finding new things. Meeting new people.
Opening new doors and finding the world a bigger place.

New aspirations. New inspirations
Experience. Enrichment.
Life.

new work

I met Andy when we became roommates my junior year of college. I lived with a house full of music majors, which definitely had some advantages as I enjoy music. As an art major we spent a lot of time in the same building as well. There were a few nights where class conflicted with concerts. Thankfully, the painting studio was often fairly flexible on the time at the easel during class. This provided me to step out for "breaks" and I found myself wandering down the hall, dressed to the nines, in my painting apron for a concert or two, or... Andy was a gifted trombonist and though I have not heard him play in a few years I imagine he has only improved.
He contacted me a while back about the possibility of having some new business cards made as he had recently relocated and needed an update. I was excited to work on the project and wanted to create something simple yet reflected who he was. What better than to use an image of him playing the trombone.

One of my favorite parts of childhood was spending time out on the farm with Grandma. Playing on the hay bales, exploring old buildings, constucting forts out of branches and found materials and of course the food.
It always amazed me at how early she would get up to make cinnamon rolls in the morning. That sweet smell mixing with that joy filled rendition of "Rise, and shine and give God the glory!" filtered through sheets pulled over my head to keep out the wake up call and the morning light. It was summer, I should not be awakened from my slumber. But she persisted and I eventually pulled myself together to make it downstairs for breakfast.
Homemade cinnamon rolls, Alphabets cereal with a glass of grape juice. Just the ticket to get me through a hard day of building forts and swimming at the community pool.

As I got older, I became curious about what it took to make those cinnamon rolls and apple pies that she was so famous for. Part of me just wanted to be able to enjoy those things on my own time, but part of me wants to have that as a heritage. Everytime I make a pie I think of grandma and try to get in touch with her on the phone. It's a way of reminding me to keep in touch, to keep those happy memories alive. To keep her with me. Knowing the effort it takes to prepares these things also reminds me of how much she cares for us. That is her love language. Those hours spent in the kitchen loving us through her food. Her time. Her songs.

To be honest I do not have anything against the apple world. I think they make some lovely products. The problem I have is the people who think they are so much better because they have those products. I am all for making your life better and easier through technology but sometimes it seems some people are just chasing the latest and greatest, or at least what they perceive as the latest and greatest. As the video shows sometimes the percieved improvement is just as satisfying as the actual improvement.
Why do we chase this need for better? Is it peer pressure and keeping up with the Jones'? Are we looking for some type of fulfillment or new distraction? What drives this need for new?

Winters of My Life from Jonathan Burhop on Vimeo.

There are many things I like about this video. It is an interesting story about a life that seems to have many other stories looming under the surface. For me, the "wilderness poet" holds a lot of charm and interest. I enjoy reading the story of Thoreau and John Muir in Yosemite. I think it might be interesting to be able to spend a large amount of time living in nature, taking time to soak in nature. Both seeing the entire landscape and observing the details that often don't emerge until you take the time.
Also, when I get to be of a more advanced age I want to feel like I made good choices in my life. That I took advantage of opportunities that we enriching and that I was able to contribute something to the world. I want a life worth of a story. I love the look in his eyes at the end when he is gazing out the window. I see him both reminiscing the happy memories and sad that it will be his last season there. The place had become a part of him.

Here prayer on rock is written,
while hymns spring from the sod,
and every fern a sermon,
fresh from the hand of God.

Julie Hart Beers Kempson

in tune

"When you put your face next to an "A" string and begin to hum an "A" -that string will begin to vibrate. The "D" won't, the "G" won't, but the "A" will. Because it was created to vibrate with that tone. The thing about the story-God's story-is that when it is told and applied well, and when it is supported in a sensorial way, something inside our heart starts to vibrate, regardless of whether we are a Christian or not, because we were created for our hearts to vibrate with that story."
Dieter Zander

Trying to stay in tune with God can be a challenging thing. The world can pull me in different directions until I become out of tune. In those times it can be challenging to feel the "vibration" of God's voice. There are times of disconnect and dissonance. So I try and make time to get back into tune. I find the more I play the more I stay in tune. Always needing an adjustment here and there, but the more I play the easier the tuning becomes. It feels so great to feel that sensation of the voice of God speaking into my life. He has a great desire to use me as part of the instrument of His love. He longs for my story to be connected to His story and for His story to be revealed through mine. I want my story to be about Him and the wonders that He has worked in my life, so much so that the two become one, vibrating in perfect harmony.

sparks of beauty

"There is nothing God does that does not send off sparks of beauty that call attention to his redeeming and loving presence.The world, then, even apart from its interpretation in Scripture, declares the glory of God; it is an embodied witness to this redemption and love."
William A. Dyrness Visual Faith

I love the idea that God is all things. It is all intentional. It is all orchestrated. There is a beauty in things that connects us to greater things and draws us to a deeper relationship with God. I am constantly amazed and humbled by the greatness and beauty of nature. I am humbled by the intricacies and attention to detail. It was created for our enjoyment and pleasure. It is a witness to God's love.

perfectly blank

"The amateur believes he must first overcome his fear; then he can do his work. The professional knows that fear can never be overcome. He knows there is no such thing as a fearless warrior or a dread-free artist."
Steven Pressfield The War of Art

During the process of creation there are many things to overcome just to begin the process. Let alone the process itself. There is fear of how to start or if I should even start at all. Is my voice relevant, important, or necessary. There is a fear of the blank canvas. What will the first mark be. It will set the tone for the entire piece. I could be doomed from the start.
While painting I have developed the process of staining the canvas as a first step. When creating a digital file it is as simple as opening Photoshop. That first step that breaks the barrier of that precious blankness. Why is it so treasured? The fear of the great white abyss of open space. There seems to be so much potential and possibility. It takes discipline to take that first step, knowing full well that the start may not survive the process. And that is okay. Take a step. Make a mark. Write a word.
I heard once that most fears only need fifteen seconds of bravery to overcome. Dialing that number of a pretty lady and waiting for a "hello". Putting a job application in the mail. Walking on to stage to perform. The fear and nerves may not go away, but I have found it often wanes after an initial struggle. I like to think that nervousness is just anxious adrenaline. It is just waiting to be put to good use. To get moving. To make something beautiful.

it was tuesday

It was Tuesday. I awoke a little earlier to go through my usual routine of getting ready. But that day I left through a different door, went through the front lobby of the dorms and picked up a newspaper, to be read in between classes, and stuffed it in my drawing portfolio. I made my way over to the student book store to pick up some supplies for my drawing class that morning. Half asleep. The dull drone of the radio murmured in the background as I picked up my supplies. Something about an airplane crash or accident or something. I wasn't really listening and did not think much of it and headed off to class.
As people arrived in the drawing studio, more layers of the story began to be added to the group conscience. Much of it half-knowledge, speculation and a flavor of rumor. After a short period of time: class dismissed. Go home.
Crowds gathered around TV screens. The numbers growing as the hours as other students got out of beds and classes. Squinting. Confused. Like the allegory of the cave, seeing a new world in a different light.

Watching. Wondering. Waiting.

Then a second.

Did that really just happen?

A new perspective on life. Fear. Sadness.

Classes were canceled as we watched history in the present. Wondering how things would change. What would happen next?

Afternoon class. No cancellation? We quietly went to class curious of where the conversation would go. There was no mention of the days proceedings. Business as usual? Seriously? Nothing!?

Thursdays class. Apology. "I don't watch the news. I only read the newspaper." Conversation.

End of the semester. Cleaning out my drawing portfolio. That newspaper. Still unread from months before. A time capsule of what things were like before it all happened. Before the world changed.
A different time.

reknown

As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower
and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
which will not be destroyed.
Isaiah 55:9-13

I love the word picture that this passage relates. I think it stems from my love of nature and the presence of God that I feel while taking in the majestic beauty of creation. This passage also speaks to the omnipotence of God and His desire for our lives. He knows His plan and is seeking to fulfill it.

dream team

The Dream Team (1992 USA Olympic basketball team documentary) from Arwind Gajadien on Vimeo.

I saw this video the other day and it took me back to my childhood. I remember my friends and I pretending to be our favorite players and reenacting plays and creating great new ones. We had an adjustable rim so we could lower the hoop and dunk like the big boys. Our hoop was also located at the bottom of slanted driveway and the flat part of the alley, so sometimes there were some foot adjustments that needed to be made to stay balanced. There always seemed to be ten seconds left. ten, nine, eight... I was ten years old. My favorite player was number 33. Scottie Pippen from the Chicago Bulls. Everyone else loved Jordan but I was always a Pippen fan. Maybe it's my love of the underdog. But you know what they say, "Defense wins championships." and Scottie was one of the best. He was also gifted at using the glass which always intrigued me. I think that might be related to my nerdiness and the geometry involved. Sometimes memories are sweeter that what really happened in life. I got a dose of that watching this documentary. Seeing the arrogance that these guys had was hazy to my ten year old self who just say the amazing basketball moves. Maybe that is one of the joys of childhood.

A man like me

"The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit."
James 5:16-18 ESV

Something that God has been bringing to mind over the past few months is the idea that He tends to use ordinary people to accomplish His goals. Elijah was a man just like me. Elijah ate, slept and drank. (Hey, I can do that!) But he also called down fire and took a ride on a fiery chariot. (Still working on that part.)
When struggling with insecurity I try to bring this passage to mind. I find strength not in my courage but in God's power. I mean he even used Elisha after he had died(2 Kings 13:21). If God can use a dead person to do miraculous things, I might still have a chance.
This passage is also a reminder to check my prayer life. Elijah's prayers affected a whole nation. Often my prayers don't go beyond my own needs and desires. I need to get better at praying for others. Also, praying with expectation of God and His power to answer those prayers.
I wonder if He is just waiting on me to move and to pray.

in between

 

 

just because the flow of traffic washes by

does not mean you have to get caught in the stream
(though it can be fun to watch, at times)
everyone in a hurry to be somewhere else

The life of point A
and point B
forgetting about the in between
sometimes it is just a catch of the breath before the next thing

take a breath
pause
it may not change your life
but it might change the way you live

Painting Garrapata

To the best of my recollection this is only the third ocean scene that I have ever painted. 3 out of hundreds. I'm not sure why this is so. I guess moving from the middle of the country the ocean seemed unfamiliar with new challenges and new colors.
Garrapata is one of my favorite places to spend time by the ocean and frequent it often.
I have wanted to do a timelapse of a painting and thought I would do so with this painting. Timelapse of creation processes is something that intrigues me. So why not do one myself.

You can see the video here.

Fresh Influence

He who lives without prayer,
He who lives with little prayer,
he who seldom reads the Word
and he who seldom looks up to heaven
for a fresh influence from on high,
he will be the man whose heart will become dry and barren

Charles Spurgeon

Cicadas

Certain sounds trigger memories in me so real it is as if I am there. For example, whenever I hear the sound of cicadas, I am immediately transported to a childhood memory. I am lying on the bed at my grandparents’ house in rural South Dakota. I remember the rigidness of the hand-made quilt and the grooves in the footboard that I would rub my feet across, like rosary beads, praying for sleep. A podiatric lathe, carving grooves into memories. I knew them well because I quickly became much taller than the bed, and so was forced to study the footboard.

Still warm from the hot humid summer sun I lay on the bed listening and studying. The window open, in hopes of a cool evening breeze to penetrate the room, provided a channel for the steady rhythm of the cicadas in the ether of the night. I remember the curiosity that I felt about what was just outside, and then farther outside. What sights, sounds, tastes, smells would I come to experience in my life? There seemed like so much out there.

As I witness more, I become increasingly more aware that there is so much more yet to see. I frequent roads that are familiar, unaware, but curious of what lies just beyond the hill. Whole new environments, and beauties I may never partake of. People I may never meet. Things that will never be added to my life experience. And so I cherish the memories that I have retained and experienced while striving to take opportunities to discover new places, experiences and people.
My memories of home: my memories of family, friends and of the world around me. Some are old and engrained, others new, fresh and awaiting deeper discovery.